


This Thing Called Life

by Married2MyPhone



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Angst, Depressed Veronica Sawyer, Existential Crisis, F/F, Modern Era, Self Deprecating Humor, Stressed Heather Chandler, Suicide Attempt, Themes Related to Death, This Author is Physically Incapable of Writing Any Fluff, themes of depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:07:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26773393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Married2MyPhone/pseuds/Married2MyPhone
Summary: ‘In 52 days, I, Veronica Sawyer, will die.In the span of those 52 days, a series of events that are listed on the other side of this letter will happen to prove that this letter is real. From something right in my face such as Jessica Byrnes having a public freakout in the middle of the hallway due to her boyfriend, Jacob Scott, cheating on her on Wednesday, December 19, down to something as small as me forgetting to close the toothpaste and mom calling me out on it, all will prove that I am certain to die in 52 days. It is up to me to decide what I will do in the remaining 52 days before my death, but I ask only one thing to the me that is reading this letter: Rewrite this letter word for word and send it in the mail to the same address. Enjoy your 52 daysSincerely, Veronica Sawyer.’Or;In where Veronica gets a mysterious letter telling her that she's going to die in fifty-two days and Heather tries to make sure Veronica spends her last days enjoying them to the fullest.
Relationships: Heather Chandler/Veronica Sawyer
Comments: 15
Kudos: 158





	1. In 52 Days

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how I came up with something as depressing as this. I just did and I know I should be working on Chance To Start Over but I actually enjoy writing this so might as well.

As a teenage girl living in a small town filled with the same people and the same places she’s been seeing her whole life, Veronica found herself with nothing much to think about. Nothing much to do, nothing much to enjoy, she just went through the days like she usually would without the expectations of anything interesting happening. 

It made her wonder how different things were outside the little world she and the rest of the people in Sherwood were in. What if it wasn’t different at all and this was just how life was meant to be. Maybe all those posts she’s seen on social media showing how great life was were just lies created by someone who wanted the world to have a false sense of hope that there was more out there.

Then again, Veronica doesn’t really know what she wants out of life. All she knew was that she was dissatisfied with the current one she was living in. She never actually made any effort to fix that problem, she didn’t even know if she wanted to fix it, because what if there was nothing to fix? The thought of this being all there was to life made Veronica more and more unmotivated to try.

It was why she looked at life through half lidded and dull eyes. There wasn’t going to be anything exciting happening, she knew better now than to wait for something like that. Looking out for something that wasn’t coming was something Veronica spent too long doing, and she was only seventeen.

Eventually she stopped searching, accepting that this was just how it was and if something were to happen, then she would let it. But she was no longer going to spend her days hoping and wishing for something that would finally make her believe that she was alive.

It was ironic that death was the nail on the coffin for her.

_‘In 52 days, I, Veronica Sawyer, will die._

_In the span of those 52 days, a series of events that are listed on the other side of this letter will happen to prove that this letter is real. From something right in my face such as Jessica Byrnes having a public freakout in the middle of the hallway due to her boyfriend, Jacob Scott, cheating on her on Wednesday, December 19, down to something as small as me forgetting to close the toothpaste and mom calling me out on it, all will prove that I am certain to die in 52 days. It is up to me to decide what I will do in the remaining 52 days before my death, but I ask only one thing to the me that is reading this letter: Rewrite this letter word for word and send it in the mail to the same address. Enjoy your 52 days_

_Sincerely, Veronica Sawyer.’_

The first thing Veronica did when she saw that letter was crumple it up and throw it in the trash. 

Just because Veronica had a dull life didn’t mean she was stupid. Something as absurd as a letter coming from someone who claims to be her saying that she was going to die in 52 days was just too surreal. Veronica was pretty sure that she would remember sending herself a death threat. 

It was idiotic, everything about it was just plain stupid to Veronica. Everything about that letter screamed ‘you are being fooled’ and even if Veronica was desperate for something to happen in her life, she would never be that desperate. As if death was something exciting too. 

Veronica was taken back to the points in her life where she sat on the edge of a ledge and just stared down, wondering what it would feel like hitting the pavement if she fell from the height she was on. Sometimes she’d stand on the tip of her toes, sometimes balance herself on one leg while the other was extended forward to where if she leaned just a bit forward, nothing would catch her.

But of course Veronica wouldn’t do something as reckless as that. She just wanted to get close to the real thing and spice up her life a bit, feel what it’s like. So the warning of her oncoming death did not faze her because to her, death was just another guarantee of a world of nothingness for Veronica. She liked to think that she already knew what would come out of death in the same way she already knows what’s coming out from her life.

Nothing.

So she ignored the letter, writing it off as nothing but a failed attempt to prank her. Probably the work of one of the jocks, but she might be wrong since the letter was too formally written and she refused to believe any of those meatheads were capable of writing something like that.

And so she continued on with her days like she usually would. Not once thinking back to the letter that sat in the trash bin in her room. Feeling herself grow a bit more tired as the sky faded in and out in a flash, the days meshing together as she woke up thinking about the same things she thought about before falling asleep.

Until…

“You’re joking right? How could you even accuse me of that?” 

Veronica felt herself get pushed in different directions as a bunch of students forced themselves through the halls, as if all of them were trying to go to the same destination. All of them muttering about whatever gossip was going on that day. She continued walking the same pace she usually did, nearing the doors of the school, ready to leave the place when the words of Jessica Byrnes caught her ears.

“Do not even try to pin this on me, you gaslighting fuck! You cheated on me with my best friend, my own fucking best friend, you are such a dickhead!”

It was like the world stopped spinning once those words left Jessica’s mouth as Veronica stood frozen, eyes glued to the floor as she tried to comprehend what she had just heard. She reached into her pocket, taking out her phone as the angry screams of Jessica started to fade into white noise.

_December 19_

Huh. Well, who would’ve thought that a letter stating the date of her death was actually real. Veronica put her phone back into her pocket and listened in to the argument a bit more until a teacher finally came in to mediate the situation. 

Along with everyone else, Veronica left school and made her way home, her mind blank despite the sudden realization that just came over her. In the off chance that this letter was indeed real, what was she supposed to do now? Wait until her final day and die a death she didn’t even expect to have so soon, or spend her last days trying to stop her death from happening. 

It’s been a few days since the letter arrived and if Veronica remembered correctly, she only had forty-seven days left before she was supposed to die. Once she made it to her room, Veronica went over to her trash can and emptied out it’s contents, sitting on the floor as she looked for the letter that determined her faith.

What was this letter? It says it was written by her, so was it written by her from the future before she died? Or a version of her in a different reality? If so, how did they manage to send the letter to her? So many things to think about and Veronica wasn’t even sure if all of this was real. But judging from the long list on the back page, Veronica decided that if this version of her was thorough enough to write down all these details just to warn her, then it must be real.

She let her body fall to the floor, arms spread out as she let out a deep breath, closing her eyes and letting herself process all of this for a second. For some reason, she couldn’t really feel anything. Maybe she was still in shock, but overall, she felt indifferent about the whole thing.  
She was mostly curious about how she would die, secretly hoping that it would be some dramatic death leaving everyone in shock and tears, remembering the girl who did absolutely nothing memorable in her life, but hey, at least her death was cool.

But the question of if she would die never really crossed Veronica’s mind. Sure, she thought suicide was a useless way to escape a dull life, but this wasn’t suicide. This was some kind of higher power, or whatever, telling her that she was going to die. The letter did tell her that she could do whatever she wanted in the days leading to her death, but it seemed so certain that she was going to die in forty-seven days, so finding a solution to stop it seemed like a waste.

Should she tell anyone? Her parents? Veronica didn’t exactly have a very long list of people that would care about this information. In fact, she’d barely call it a list at all. All of her friends moved on with their lives while Veronica got stuck in one place. The moment high school started, everyone went their separate ways, sticking with the people that wouldn’t do any harm to them or sticking to the people they could easily do harm to in defense. 

If anyone found out about this note, they’d probably laugh at Veronica and accuse her of being an attention-whore for writing something so obviously fake. She doesn’t want to tell her parents either because she knows they’d be heart -broken to learn that their daughter was dying and they couldn’t even find a reason why.

Was she sick? Was her sand clock running on its last few grains? Or did the universe decide to play a game of ‘Let’s Kill A Random Unsuspecting Citizen” and the dice just happened to land on her. She doesn’t want to hear her parents cry about her and treat her like she was made of glass because that’s exactly what they’d do if they found out.

Getting up, Veronica sat at her dresser and stared at herself in the mirror. She didn’t look any different than she did five days ago. Tilting and prodding at her face, Veronica tried to find any sign as to how she could be dying, but as far as she was concerned, there was none. She slumped back into her chair with a huff and looked at the letter once again, reading over it’s contents in case it gave off any clues.

There were none. It was all pretty straight forward. 

Veronica was going to die forty-seven days from now.


	2. The Enigma That Is Veronica Sawyer

The next few days passed by and Veronica saw no sign of her oncoming death. Then again, she still had forty-two days left, maybe signs would only start showing the days near her deadline. It was weird, knowing she was running out of time, but she didn’t really know what to do about it.

“Veronica, honey, can you pick up some more ice?” Her mother called out from downstairs. Veronica got up from her bed and grabbed her hoodie which was draped over a chair, putting it on before going downstairs.

It was the monthly barbecue where everyone in their area would take turns hosting while the adults drank and talked while the kids grouped off with their usual group, not bothering to interact with anyone they didn’t already know enough. This month, it was the Sawyer’s turn to host and Veronica’s mom couldn’t stop panicking as she’s been planning this since the last barbecue ended.

Apparently she really wanted to show up the Greene’s who bought the same casserole as hers and everyone ate more of the Greene’s and less of hers. Needless to say that Veronica’s mom was a little competitive when it came to these sort of things, so this barbecue being perfect was something Veronica and her dad had to make sure as well to keep her mom from passing out from nervousness because of a little detail that went wrong.

Veronica walked out of the house and took out her wallet, counting her money to see if she had enough money on her to buy ice and maybe some candy she could eat on the side when a car whizzed past her. It wasn’t something she took careful notice of as she continued walking to the store.

“I don’t get why we’re arriving an hour early.” Heather snipped from where she sat while her mother kept the smile on her face.

“I told you this already, sweetie. The Sawyers might need some help in prepping for the barbecue and we’re going to offer all the help we can provide them.” Heather’s mom explained for what felt like the tenth time that morning.

“I’m sure two grown adults and their near-adult teenager can handle setting up a barbecue. Dad, come on, you have to be on my side with this one.” Heather said, leaning over from where she sat, looking to her dad for input while her mother did the same.

“I thought we agreed that there would be no talking until we reached the Sawyer’s.” 

Heather paused and stared at her dad before letting out a huff and slumping back into her seat. It didn’t take them long to reach the Sawyer household and Heather’s mom made sure to remind her daughter to behave (which Heather replied with an eyeroll) before leaving the car, the salad she prepared before hand held tightly in her hands.

Heather’s dad seemed very unenthusiastic about all of this, mostly because his wife woke him up at the brink of dawn just to drive a street down from where they lived. The family stood at the front door of the Sawyers and Heather’s mom rang the doorbell, preparing a smile on her face.

“Jennifer!” Veronica’s mom said in surprise when she opened the door to see the Chandler’s waiting by her door. Heather’s mom shoved the salad to her husband as she hugged Veronica’s mom.

“What are you guys doing here, the barbecue isn’t until an hour. Oh no, unless I lost track of time. Oh gosh, I’m not ready, there’s still so much to do and-” Jennifer quickly cut in before Lauren could have a panic attack right there.

“Lauren, Lauren, it’s okay. We’re just early.” Jennifer said, placing her hands on the woman’s shoulders who took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. “Right, right, of course. I checked the time so many times today, I couldn’t have lost track… Anyway, come in!” 

The Chandlers entered the home, Chandler looking around at the home she hasn’t been to in years. The last time the Sawyers hosted was a little over a year ago, but Heather skipped that barbecue, which was probably why she was forced to go this time. The last time she stepped foot inside this house was when she was in middle school.

“Oh, George, here.” Veronica’s dad said, grabbing a mug and taking out some coffee, pouring it in while George let out a breath of relief. “Oh thank god. Bill, you are a godsend.” Bill shrugged as him and George started talking over their coffee while their wives continued setting up.

“Oh, Heather, honey. Veronica’s not here right now, but feel free to wait in the living room.” Jennifer said, gesturing over to the couch where a replay of a football game was playing. “I don’t care, we don’t even talk.” Heather said as she went over to the couch and sat down.

“Heather.” Jennifer scolded and Heater simply let out a huff as she watched the game on the tv, trying to drown out the chatter of the adults as she sat as the odd one out. She couldn’t even use her phone since it was only on twenty-percent and she knew she wouldn’t be able to handle the entire barbecue no way was she going to interact with the other wannabees attending and she’d have no one to talk to since Mac was sick and Duke managed to get out of going.

At one point all the talk about casseroles and football drove Heather crazy so she excused herself to go to the bathroom. Maybe she could just hide out there for the rest of the day and entertain herself by reading the back of all the Sawyer’s shampoo bottles. Her mother would probably hunt her down though.

Heather sighed as she fixed herself in front of the mirror, trying to figure out how she was going to spend the next hour without losing her mind. Exiting the bathroom, Heather was ready to endure more typical conversations and small talk when she noticed one door out of all the rooms wide open. Well, not wide open, mostly ajar, but it was enough to gain Heather’s interest.

A little snooping wouldn’t do anyone harm as long as she didn’t take anything. Besides, whoever owned the room left their door open, they were basically asking for it.

When Heather entered the room, she looked around, admiring the way it was decorated. The blue walls were nice and the posters showed that whoever slept here had some taste. Heather assumed that this room was Veronica’s, unless Mr. and Mrs. Sawyer had a second child no one knew about, what a scandal that would be.

It was fairly clean. The bed was unmade and there were some clothes laid on the ground, but other than that, it was well kept. She looked at a cabinet filled with various types of memorabilia. A trophy for getting second in the second grade spelling bee. Heather got first in that which she remembered rubbing in Veronica’s face at the time. A picture frame of Veronica and the middle school softball team. She never figured out why she quit.

Other photos taken from her childhood along with awards. Looking at the dates, most of them stopped by the end of middle school. There’s not a single thing inside there past middle school and Heather wondered why. She knew Veronica was one of the choices for Valedictorian since Duke was also an option, so someone that smart was bound to win some awards.

Heather moved on and went over to Veronica’s desk, looking at the picture she had of her and her parents, the bottle of pens she had, the tiny plant that was there and the line of books placed in their own little case. There were also multiple paper laid out there and Heather skimmed through them.

Most of them were just study material and some homework that was almost finished, all pretty much disinterested Heather. She was about to move on when a wrinkled piece of notebook paper caught her eye. Taking it and smoothing it out a bit so she could properly read what was written on it, Heather’s eyes scanned over the first few words/

‘In 52 days, I, Veronica Sawyer, will die.’

Heather felt her blood run cold after reading that. Suddenly it felt like the piece of paper was on fire, something she shouldn’t have touched. She was about to put it back when she heard footsteps stop in front of the door.

“What are you doing in my room?” Veronica asked as she entered the room, taking off her hoodie and putting it back onto the chair it was originally on before she started fixing the bed. “I-I was just…” Heather didn’t know what she was supposed to say. She was just caught snooping and she was now face to face with the girl whose personal letter she just read. 

“Okay, just get-” Veronica turned around, ready to kick Heather out of her room when she caught the paper in Heather’s hand. “Ah.” A heavy weight hung around the two, neither knowing what to say. Heather simply raised the paper to Veronica.

“Did you read all of it?” Veronica asked as she read through the words she’s been reading everyday for the past ten days now. Once when she woke up, in the middle of class and before she fell asleep. 

“I, uh… Are you, like, suicidal or something?” Heather didn’t really know what to say to this type of thing, eyes darting awkwardly around the room as Veronica sighed. “I guess you didn’t read all of it then.” Veronica said as she handed Heather the paper back, green eyes widening as she raised her hands in front of her.

“Oh, I don’t want to read-”

“Just read all of it.” Heather gave Veronica a confused glance as she hesitantly took the paper, wondering why this girl who she hasn’t spoken to in years is asking her to read her suicide note. Maybe Veronica was still attached to her since they were pretty good friends, plus she’s never really seen her without any other people. Poor girl was probably so lonely that she decided suicide was better than aynthing.

Veronica watched as multiple emotions flashed across Heather’s face while reading the note. She looked more confused and concerned than her when she read the letter for the first time and the letter was literally directed to her. Heather looked up at her once she was done reading with furrowed eyebrows.

“Is this some sort of joke?” Heather asked and Veronica raised her eyebrows at the question. “What do you think?” It didn’t sound like Veronica was trying to mock her, it was like she was actually asking Heather this question because she just wanted to know what she thought.

“What do I think?” Heather asked with a laugh of disbelief. “I think this is utter bullshit. What, you think I’m stupid enough to believe that you were just given a letter saying you’re gonna die in fifty-two days?” Veronica took the letter back from Heather and turned it around.

“Here.” Veronica said, handing the letter back to Heather who looked at her as if she was crazy. Veronica stared at her and Heather shook her head, scoffing as she took the letter back. Reading the contents of the back page, Heather took note of how some of them were crossed out.

Some though were bare. Little things such as ‘Trip on the stairs in front of Kailen March’ and some that were absurd like ‘Mr. Fitz gets arrested on school grounds for having a relationship with Aria Hale.’ All things that confused Heather more and more.

“What the hell am I looking at right now?” Heather asked and Veronica let out a breath of air through her nose. “Those are events to prove that this letter is real. When I first got the letter, I’d look out for those events and if the letter predicted right, I’d cross it out.” Veronica said, leaning over a bit and pointing at the events that were crossed out.

“Wait, when you first got the letter? How many days do you have left?” Heather asked in shock.

“So you believe that this is real?” Veronica asked with a raised eyebrow. Heather opened her mouth to reply, but decided not to, looking away as a light tinge of red lined her cheeks. “Forty-two days. That’s how long I have left.” Veronica said and Heather gaped at her.

How could she just say that in such a calm way? As if getting a letter saying when you’d die was a normal thing. That had to mean it was fake. No sane person would be this calm if this whole ‘Dying in 52 Days” thing was real.

“Why are you even showing me this?” Who else knew about this? Why was she acting so calm? It was only now did Heather see how much of an enigma Veronica Sawyer became. The brunette shrugged, sitting down on her bed.

“Couldn’t have the almighty Heather Chandler think I was suicidal and tell the whole school, could I?” Heather furrowed her eyes and let out a scoff, her answer not soothing her confusion in any way. “As if supposedly getting a letter from yourself telling you when you’re gonna die is any better?”

“Well, no.” Veronica started before getting up and slowly walking over to Heather who eyed her warily, taking a step back every time Veronica took a step forward until there was nowhere for her to go. “But nobody would believe you if you told. You’d look even crazier than I would.”

Despite being highly uncomfortable in that moment, Heather knew that Veronica had a point. There was no point in using this against information against her. Plus, Heather maybe a bitch, but lying about suicide wasn’t something even she could do.

When she heard the sound of her mother calling her from downstairs, Heather sent Veronica a glare before pushing past her and leaving the room. Though she was physically out of the room, her mind was stuck on the things she found out inside there. 

There was no way Veronica Sawyer was going to die in forty-two days.


	3. Maybe It Is Real

As much as Heather denied it, it was obvious that there was a lot on her mind. The other two Heathers noticed how out of it Heather’s been and whenever they asked, Heather would just snap at them and tell them to mind their own business, so they made a note to do exactly that.

In the last few days, Heather has found herself watching Veronica Sawyer, trying to see if she would do anything. If Heather found out that she was going to die in over a month, she’d spend every day she had left doing a whole bunch of dumb shit because she’d be damned if she didn’t go out with a bang.

Not saying that any of it was real, of course.

But with each day that passed by, Heather found herself growing frustrated because Veronica was doing the exact same thing everyday. It was like the girl was a robot running on a program. After seeing Veronica seem to just not care about dying made Heather think that it wasn’t real. All of it just had to be fake. Nobody just gets a letter saying when they were going to die and no one would be so nonchalant about it.

“She’s doing it again.” Duke said, referring to Heather Chandler who was glaring at the table before glancing over to Mac who was staring at their friend in concern. “I don’t know what’s been going on with her lately.” Mac said with a frown while Duke let out a hum.

“She’s gonna burn a hole through the table if she keeps that up. She’s looking at it like it killed her entire family.” Mac slapped Duke’s arm while the girl just shrugged. “We shouldn’t be talking about Heather like that, she’s right there.” Mac said and Duke snapped her fingers in front of Heather’s face, but the girl didn’t seem fazed.

“Looks like she’s somewhere else right now.” Duke said half jokingly before turning to Mac who was still frowning. 

“We should do something to cheer her up. Do you think she’d want to go to Taco Bell?” Mac asked and Duke hummed in thought before shaking her head. “No, she’s on an all-carb diet, remember?” It was at this point did Heather Chandler tune back into the conversation.

“What are you two mumbling about?” Heather said in an annoyed tone, making Mac and Duke flinch seeing as they didn’t expect Heather to come back to them yet. “Nothing, just talking about stuff.” Mac said and Duke simply nodded in agreement. 

Heather was about to tell the two off when people started getting up from their seats and running out of the cafeteria in a hurry as loud chattering and footsteps filled the room. “What the hells is happening?” Duke asked and the three got up as well, following the crowd as they made their way through.

Once they got to the front of the crowd, the Heathers found themselves, along with the rest of the student body standing outside the doors of the school to see the police car waiting outside with one of their beloved teachers being led to it, hands behind her as they were held in cuffs.

“Is that..?”

“No way, Mr. Fitz?”

“Oh my god, is he getting arrested?”

Though everyone was focused on the arrest happening in front of them along with Aria Hale who was crying next to her mother who was holding her close, Heather found herself thinking of something different. Surely this would be the gossip for the next few weeks, but just the thought of the weeks passing made Heather more nervous.

This was one of the items in the predictions at the back of Veronica’s letter. The letter she read days ago, there was no way Veronica could’ve known any of this was going to happen. Frantically looking around, Heather searched the grown for a tall brunette. When she found her, she saw Veronica’s head ducked down as she wrote something on a piece of paper.

To her surprise, brown eyes lifted to meet hers and even though no words were spoken, Heather could understand exactly what Veronica was trying to convey to her. It was real, Veronica was going to die soon. The thought made Heather want to hurl. She hasn’t spoken to this girl in years and the one time she does, she finds out that she was going to die?

What was she supposed to do with this information? Tell Veronica’s parents? Consult some form of authority figure? Veronica wasn’t stupid, obviously, she’s probably thought of all of this before already. This was unfair. Heather didn’t want this burden on her, she doesn’t want to be involved in whatever all of this is, but she couldn’t just let Veronica die either.

What was anyone supposed to do in this situation? She didn’t know Veronica, why should she have to worry about her, she’s never worried about her before. But she’s not just going to leave her alone, the girl was dying for Christ’s sake. The amount of guilt Heather could get for letting someone she knew was dying just die without even trying would be unbearable. Heather was a bitch, not a soulless monster, there’s a difference.

To her shock, Veronica just put the paper away and started walking back into school. Everyone was being ushered back inside by some teachers, but a lot of the students were protesting, wanting to see more of the drama, but Veronica just walked away like it was nothing.

Sure, other kids were also walking away now, but it was different with Veronica. This was something that would confirm Veronica’s oncoming death, why was she just walking away like that? How could this girl continue living on like everything was normal when in a few weeks, she was going to be gone. 

There were seven wonders in the world, but Heather thinks that Veronica Sawyer might just be the eight.


	4. How Do You Feel

Veronica alternated between reading her book and eating her sandwich when a lunch tray was placed across from her with a blur of red sitting down from her peripherals. “To whom do I owe the pleasure of having the one and only Heather Chandler visit me at lunch?” Veronica asked, not looking up from her book.

This caused Heather to grow annoyed as she reached over to grab Veronica’s book, but the other girl was quick enough to pull it out of the blonde’s reach. Heather glared at her before letting out a huff and sitting back down. Veronica decided to at least humor the girl by putting away her book and focusing her attention on her.

“How many days do you have left?” 

“Thirty-six days.” Veronica didn’t miss a beat when answering which made Heather pause for a second in shock.

“You have a month left, what the hell have you been doing the past few weeks?” This genuinely infuriated Heather. She’s been hung up about this whole fifty-two days letter thing for the past week now, trying to figure out how she was gonna help Veronica and here she was, reading a book when her time was running out.

“I’ve been doing what I’ve always been doing.” 

“Do you have any health conditions?”

“Healthy as an ox.”

“Do you have a stalker or something?”

“Do I look like I even have friends?”

“Have you ever been to Disney World with a camera crew following you.”

“No, Heather, I’ve never been to make a wish. I’m sure that if I did, everyone would know about it by now.” Well, Heather has officially run out of ideas.

“How the hell are you gonna die then?” Heather asked, mostly to herself as her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She already knew the whole letter thing was real now, but that still didn’t explain how and why Veronica was going to die.

“I’m surprised that you actually believe all of this now.” Veronica said while Heather raised an eyebrow at her. “After what happened yesterday, how could I not? Don’t tell me you don’t believe it when you’re literally the one who’s going to die.”

“Of course I believe it, what I don’t believe is you caring about it.” Heather didn’t like how Veronica said that. How unbothered she said it and how she genuinely seemed surprised that Heather did care. 

Heather might’ve been a bitch, but this was a person’s life they were talking about. Sure, she threw around the words “I’ll end you” or “You’re gonna die for doing that” a lot, but she never actually meant it, they were empty threats. She could end a person’s social life with the snap of her fingers, sure, but she wouldn’t just turn a blind eye to someone dying. 

A part of Heather was actually hurt at the thought of people thinking she wouldn’t care about something as serious as this.

“I’m sorry if I offended you in any way by saying that.” It seems that Veronica noticed the distraught look on her face and didn’t want to be misconstrued. “It’s just… We aren’t really friends, not even acquaintances. It’s not that I think that you’re the type of person who would be ignorant to things like this, I just didn’t think anyone would care in general.” 

Heather narrowed her eyes slightly at Veronica, trying hard to see through whatever mask the girl was putting up. She wondered if there was any mask at all and if this was just how Veronica acted.

“Well, whatever, that doesn’t really matter,” They both knew that those words weren’t true, but neither girl decided to bring it up, “What matters is that you don’t waste your final days being a loser. Tell me what your bucket list is.”

“I don’t have a bucket list.” Veronica said simply and Heather rolled her eyes at that. “Then take out a pen and paper and make one.” She gestured over to the bag next to Veronica and it was the other girl’s turn to become confused as she rummaged through her bag.

“What is this for again?” Veronica asked as she prepared herself to write whatever Regina would ask her to write. “You’re gonna make a bucket list and we’re gonna do all of it before you die.” Heather said as if it were rocket science. “I don’t really know how to make a-”

“Just write down whatever you want to do before you die.” Heather said impatiently and Veronica’s hand became still, the tip of her pen hovering just above the piece of paper. 

What did she want to do before she died? What did Veronica even want at all? It wasn’t something she thought about much. All Veronica knew was the things she didn’t want. She didn’t want to live a dull life, she didn’t want to feel so trapped all the time, she didn’t want to feel like there was nothing out there waiting for her. But even if Veronica managed to find out there was something else out there, a life that was filled with things that caught her off guard, a life that made her feel free,

Veronica didn’t know what she would do with that life.

Heather watched as Veronica wrote something down on the paper before sliding it over to her. It was odd, seeing as Veronica finished her bucket list in under five minutes. She gave the girl across from her an odd look before taking the bucket list and reading the one thing Veronica put on there.

‘I want to live.’

Heather hesitated for a second, feeling goosebumps rise on her arms after reading what she just read. Well shit, how in the world were they supposed to accomplish this? Veronica was basically asking to reject the fate that was given to her by some letter. But she was dying, and this was the one thing Veronica wanted. How was Heather supposed to tell a dying girl no to the one thing she wished for.

“Uh, Veronica…” Heather started off, her body tense as she tried to find the proper words to say. “I’m sorry, but I think that this is the one thing we can’t do. I don’t want you to die either, but-”

“Oh, I don’t care about dying.” Shock ran through Heather’s body as she looked at Veronica as if she was crazy, once again wondering why she looked so calm.

“But your bucket list-”

“You don’t have to be alive in order to live.” Veronica locked eyes with Heather as she said those words and Heather started to understand what the brunette meant. “It’s the same as being alone in a room full of people. I want to experience what it’s like to live because what I feel now… I don’t think this is how living should feel.” Veronica said, a sort of distant tone in her words as her eyes shifted down to the table.

“What do you feel?” Heather didn’t know if it was too personal of a question to ask, especially since they just started talking to each other again, but Veronica didn’t mind. The thing Veronica did mind was how she didn’t have an answer to that question.

“Ask me again in thirty-five days.” Veronica said simply and Heather was taken back to the reason why they were talking to each other again in the first place. Right, Veronica was going to die.

“Alright, I don’t know how the hell we’re going to accomplish this, so we’re going to do my bucket list instead.” Heather said as she took out her phone while Veronica stared at her with a questioning list. “I’m the one that’s dying, why are we doing your bucket list?” 

“Because I actually have more than one item on my list and they’re actually doable. Plus, they’re exciting enough to actually make you feel alive, so it’ll be killing two birds with one stone.” 

“Actually, only one bird will be dying.” Heather let out a snort at the joke, raising her eyebrows in amusement at Veronica who simply shrugged. It was weird, laughing at the joke the dying girl made about her own death. It amazed Heather to see that Veronica was capable of even making light of her situation, but from what she’s seen, it didn’t seem like Veronica cared at all which was concerning. 

Heather didn’t know if she should respect Veronica or be terrified of her.

“What’s on your bucket list?” Veronica asked and Heather handed the girl her phone which was on the notes app, showing a bucket list she made a few months prior. “Funny, I expected to see skydiving on here.” Veronica said as she read through the list while Heather scoffed.

“Oh please, I’m not basic.” 

“The iced vanilla latte you bring every morning says otherwise.” Heather choked on air at that one. “How the hell did you know my order, the cup I use isn’t even clear.” 

“I didn’t actually know that, I just guessed. But now I do.” This girl was lucky she was dying because Heather would’ve had her stuffed and mounted with the way she was talking to her. It was bold, no one in this school would even dare look her in the eye when speaking to her, but Veronica wasn’t even focusing on her yet she still talked back to her. 

“Shut up. Now, are you good with doing my bucket list?” Heather asked and Veronica hummed as she read through the bucket list once more.

1\. Go on a road trip without an exact destination  
2\. Light fireworks on my own for the first time  
3\. Streak across a neighborhood  
4\. Hike up a mountain and watch the sun rise on New Year  
5\. Go on a food trip

“This is a surprisingly short list.” Veronica said as she handed Heather her phone back. 

“I’m not one for crazy adventures.”

“Why the fireworks? Out of everything on this list, that seems like the most out of the blue thing.” Veronica said as she continued analyzing the list. 

“Really? The fireworks are the weirdest thing for you? Not even the streaking?” Veronica merely shrugged at that. “It sounds like something you’d want to do. I’m surprised you haven’t done that yet, seeing as you’re…” Heather narrowed her eyes at Veronica angrily, grabbing a grape that was on her tray before throwing it at Veronica’s head. The grape bounced off her head and landed on the table.

“That wasn’t very nice.” Veronica grabbed the grape on the table that Heather threw and wiped it a bit on her shirt before plopping it in her mouth, not caring for the look of disgust Heather sent her way. “Since when have I ever been known to be nice?” Veronica lightly shook her head with raised eyebrows as if to say that she had a point.

“But as for the fireworks, I never got to light any on my own. My mom is unnecessarily protective over me and I was always told to stay inside if there were fireworks going off outside. I could barely see them from my window, so I want to see them up close.” Veronica nodded in thought at that.

“Well, fireworks aren’t that hard to get.” Veronica said with a shrug and Heather looked at her, trying to figure out what was going on inside the girl’s head, only to find nothing. Setting aside her frustration at that, Heather went back to the topic at hand.

“Alright, so we’ve got a bucket list, let’s do this shit.” Heather said, but Veronica raised her finger. “Can we wait to do all of this on break? We still have school, it’ll be hard to do all of this with all of the work piled up along with it.” 

“You’re dying, why do you still care about all of this?” Heather wondered if there was ever going to be a day where she understood Veronica Sawyer. 

“I may no longer have a future, but you do.” Heather knew that Veronica meant it as a joke, but the way she said it made her uncomfortable. It reminded her that Veronica was going to die and it’s hard to believe when she’s talking to the girl so normally. “Don’t say it like that.” Heather mumbled, crossing her arms while Veronica shrugged. “It’s the truth.”

Heather sighed but decided to ignore it, making a mental note that she should get used to whatever morbid death jokes Veronica might say later. “Alright, but we still have ten days before break, what are you going to do until then?”

“Do what I always do.” Heather rubbed her eyes at this. “No, no, you cannot just waste your time doing nothing because ten days is precious when you only have thirty-six days left.”

“What else am I supposed to do then?” Heather didn’t actually have an answer for that. It was hard to come up with something exciting to do on the spot to make your last days memorable. This wasn’t something anyone usually had to think about, so how was she supposed to know? She sighed as the bell rang, students getting up and leaving the cafeteria to head to their lockers.

“Look, just don’t do nothing. Actually try to do something, maybe something you’ve never tried before. I’ll check in on you every now and again to make sure you’re not wasting your days away so you better do something.” Veronica watched as Heather got up and walked away with a few thoughts running through her head.

One was about what she was going to do in the next ten days to make sure she followed what Heather told her to do, and another being why Heather was trying to help her in the first place. Veronica didn’t think she needed any helping. Sure, she was going to die, but people die everyday, death is a part of life that everyone will go through some day. She was just going to die sooner than expected, but she didn’t really feel like she would be missing out on anything.

Veronica didn’t have any life goals either. She didn’t have any plans for the future, she didn’t care for leaving her mark on the world, there was nothing there for her. Sure, Veronica said that she wanted to know what it was like to live, but she didn’t even know what came with living, what it meant to live. 

Life was dull, so Veronica liked to think that she knew everything there was to it. So it made her question why Heather Chandler was so determined to make sure she lived a full one before she died. Veronica was a smart person, straight A's, in line for valedictorian with a good chance of getting any ivy league college she wanted. Veronica liked to think that she had an answer for everything.

That was until she re-met the almighty Heather Chandler who was a bolt from the blue to Veronica.


	5. You Keep Me On My Toes

Heather looked around the halls when she spotted Veronica making her way out of the school. Excusing herself from the other Heathers and walking away before they could even ask why, she caught up with Veronica, walking next to her as she lightly nudged her shoulder.

“Aren’t you worried about being seen with someone that isn’t popular? Wouldn’t want to ruin your reputation by associating yourself with a no good nerd.” Heather rolled her eyes playfully, deciding to play along. “Oh, don’t worry about that. You’re gonna die soon anyway and I’ll be the only person you’re seen with before you die. I’ll be a damn hero here.”

“I’ll make sure you make a eulogy at my funeral then.” The death jokes were no longer something that Heather felt uncomfortable with. It was usually what the two joked about now that they actually talked. 

“Where will you drag me off to now?” For the past few days leading up to their holiday break, Heather has been taking Veronica to her usual hang out places since she found out that Veronica was basically a complete shut in, only going to school and directly going home with the occasional detour to a seven-eleven or the grocery store.

“Ice cream parlor.” Heather said, going over to the driver’s side of her Porche while Veronica went over to the passenger’s side. “Any reason in particular?” Heather has been giving Veronica rides every time they went out because Veronica didn’t have a car and just walked everywhere since her bike broke.

“You’re probably a normie that’s only eaten vanilla and chocolate.” 

“Is there something wrong with those flavors?” Heather sighed in endearment from how clueless Veronica was. At first she thought Veronica was just messing with her when it came to these types of things, but she just genuinely didn’t know. “No, but you need to live a little, you’re literally gonna die in a month.” Veronica shook her head, simply accepting her answer as a good enough reason.

When they arrived at the ice cream parlor, Veronica examined the display of different flavors of ice cream while Heather directly told the guy behind the counter her order, already knowing what she was gonna get. “Strawberry Cheesecake please.” Veronica lifted her head and furrowed her eyebrows at Heather.

“That’s a flavor?”

“Obviously I wouldn’t be able to order it if it wasn’t. Now, what do you want?” Heather asked, crouching down to Veronica’s level as she looked through the display as well.

“I don’t know.” Heather rolled her eyes and placed her hand over Veronica’s eyes.

“Point your finger anywhere and we’ll buy whatever it lands on.” Not seeing any reason or point to protest, Veronica lifted her hand and moved it around a bit before stopping. Heather took her hand off her eyes and Veronica looked at the flavor she ended up with.

“Birthday Cake it is then.” Heather took out her wallet and paid for their ice cream. It was Heather’s turn to pay that day. The two had come to an agreement that they would alternate on who would pay each time they went out.

“I feel the sugar making its way to my bloodstream already.” Veronica took her ice cream as her and Heather made their way out of the parlor. “Good, maybe this time you won’t just take a nap when you get back home and actually do something.” 

They were supposed to sit outside when this large family suddenly came in and took all the seats. Veronica grabbed the back of Heather’s jacket and dragged her off before she could make a scene by making a child and possibly a grown adult cry. They settled on sitting on the swing sets of a park that was a few blocks away from the parlor. 

Heather forced Veronica to walk since she didn’t want to risk having ice cream fall onto her seats. They watched as they lightly rocked back and forth on their swing. “What’s the verdict on your ice cream?” Heather asked as she watched Veronica try to save her hand from becoming a mess due to her melting ice cream.

“Tedious seeing as it’s making such a mess. But the flavor is way too sweet for me.” Heather snorted as she licked at her ice cream. “Then how come you hang out with me?” She joked.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t recall you ever having a sweet side.” Heather deadpanned at the girl next to her before reaching down. “No, you can’t throw rocks or pebbles at me, that is cheating.” Heather let out a huff before dropping the pebble she picked up. “You’re every flavor there could possibly be besides sweet.” 

Not wanting to throw a rock at Veronica, Heather decided to get up from her swing and stuck her ice cream onto Veronica’s head. “That was completely unnecessary.” Veronica said, leaning forward to let the ice cream fall to the ground. As she patted the top of her head, getting as much of the excess ice cream off her head as she could. “You not only wasted good food, but also good money.” Heather was about to retort when she felt Veronica shove her ice cream onto her stomach.

“Veronica!” Heather exclaimed, taking the ice cream off her and looking down at her sweater, about to scold Veronica when she saw the girl walking back to the car. “You realize you just did everything you said was unnecessary.” Heather called out while Veronica continued walking. “Blame it on the sugar rush, now come on, I still have an essay to finish.”

That was how the days leading up to holiday break usually went. The other two Heather wondered why Chandler was suddenly hanging out with someone like Veronica, but Heather showing no interest in talking about it made them back down with the questions fairly easily. There were many speculations as to why the Demon Queen of Westerberg was hanging out with Veronica Sawyer of all people, but Heather and Veronica kept everything to themselves and couldn’t give two shits to the world outside the little one they made for themselves.

That day was the last day of school and Veronica was finishing up a few more papers at home before she had to send them the next day when she heard her phone ding from a notification. She checked it briefly to see a text from Heather asking her what she was doing. Deciding to focus on her work first, Veronica turned her phone off and put it back down before continuing with her work. 

Another ding came and with that came another, followed by another notification, all of which Veronica ignored. The girl let out a sigh when the notifications finally stopped, finally able to fully focus on everything she had to finish in front of her.

Then her phone rang.

Veronica contemplated answering for a few seconds, deciding to let Heather wait by letting the phone ring for a few more seconds before picking up.

“Don’t ignore me.” Heather said through the phone.

“Some people have things to do, you know?”

“Yes, but I need attention and right now, you’re the only one who can give that to me.” Veronica leaned back in her chair. Knowing Heather, the phone call was going to last longer than necessary, so might as well get comfortable.

“It’s the night of the last day of school, shouldn’t you be out partying? Especially since today was the last day of school.”

“Yeah, but Ram’s throwing the party and I’m not in the mood to drink cheap beer and have sex tonight. And like you said, today was the last day of school and since you couldn’t go out today, I need to make sure you’re not wasting it doing nothing.”

“I am doing something. Well, I was doing something until I got virtually harassed by all your text messages.”

“Harass is a very strong word… But really, what are you doing?”

“I’m grading papers.”

“Ew, that’s gross. I shouldn’t be surprised that you’re a teacher’s pet. It's very Veronica of you.”

“For your information, I offered to help.”

“Ugh, I shouldn’t have called, I don’t want to hear about school when school literally just ended.” 

Veronica decided to hang up in that moment, placing her phone back down and going back to her papers when her phone rang once more.

“I thought you didn’t want to hear about school.”

“You know, just because you’re a dying girl doesn’t mean you get a free pass to be a dickhead.”

“I don’t think anyone has a free pass to be a dickhead, they just decide to be dickheads because that’s what feels best.”

“All this dick talk is giving me flashbacks, let’s talk about something else.”

“Can we talk about how you’re interrupting the work I have to finish tonight cause I still have to bring them in tomorrow.”

“You’re going to school when school just got out? God, why do I even talk to you? And no, we’re supposed to start the bucket list thing tomorrow.” 

“I mean, you can’t really just tell me no on this, this is something I actually have to do.”

“Alright, whatever, just don’t flake out on me with all this.”

“Even if I thought about flaking on you, I know you would never let me.” Heather let out a light chuckle at that.

“Damn right. I’d drug you and when you wake up, we’re already halfway across the country.” She let out a yawn after that.

“You sound tired.”

“What an amazing discovery, you must be psychic. I wonder how you could’ve ever gotten to that conclusion.”

“Oh, that’s easy. You yawned and usually tired people yawn, so put those together and I realized that you were tired.” Heather groaned at this.

“Alright, smartass.”

“Am I a tiring person to talk to?”

“When you talk to me with all that sass, yeah. But it’s fine, at least now I have someone to talk to that can actually keep up with me.”

“What, you don’t like talking to people who agree with everything you say?” 

“Oh, please. Heather and Heather are fine, but every conversation I have with them is so dull. They’re always too afraid to say what’s on their mind and it’s annoying.”

“You do have a very scary face.”

“Prepare yourself, Veronica Sawyer, because I will throw a whole basket of fruit at you.” Veronica huffed out a laugh at that and it was silent a bit between them. It was comforting because they knew the other was still on the line even if they weren’t making a sound.

“You’re not actually offended when I insult you or throw food at you, right?” There was a slight form of hesitance in her tone which made Veronica sigh.

“No, unless I’m supposed to be offended?”

“No, no, I’m just joking around most of the time when I do shit like that. But I like you, Veronica. No surprise that the girl that’s gonna die in twenty-six days is the one keeping me on my toes.”

“Aw, you kept track, you do care.” Veronica could practically feel Heather’s eyes rolling from the other line.

“You should go to bed though.” Heather hummed as she rolled over on her bed so she was lying on her stomach. 

“Tired of me already?”

“No, but you’re actually tired. It’s late anyway, you shouldn’t even be awake at this hour, it’s two am..”

“I haven’t had a decent sleep schedule since freshman year so it’s too late for that. Besides, you can’t speak when you’re literally grading papers right now.”

“Yes, but I’m actually doing something, you’re just bored.” Heather sighed at that, but she did see Veronica’s point, especially since her eyes were on the verge of falling.

“Alright, I get it. I’ll go to bed now, mom.” Heather said, exaggerating the last word while Veronica hummed.

“Good.” Heather couldn’t stop the small smile that made its way on her face, forgetting for a moment that this girl would be gone in less than a month.

“Goodnight, Sawyer.” 

Veronica hung up the call and put her phone away, sighing as she stared up at her ceiling, suddenly feeling more tired than she did just a few minutes ago. She looked at the papers on her desk and then looked over to her phone. Somewhere down the road, Heather was in her room falling asleep right after talking with her.

Getting up, Veronica went over to her bed and laid down, closing her eyes and deciding to get some rest as well.


	6. A Shift In The Right Direction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the best fluff I can do atm

Deciding to start with the easiest one first, Veronica and Heather settled on doing the food trip. 

Heather asked her friends while Veronica searched the internet for the best places to eat in Ohio. Fortunately enough, there was a food truck festival happening three hours away from where Veronica and Heather lived. 

Veronica was getting ready when she heard Heather’s car horn from outside. Grabbing her jacket, she made her way downstairs when Heather blasted her horn again. She paused for a second, listening to Heather continuously blasting her horn when she finally exited her house.

Instead of heading straight to Heather’s car, Veronica brushed aside the snow on the steps of her porch before sitting down, staring at Heather’s car while the girl continued honking her car horn.

“Veronica, get the fuck in!” Heather shouted after rolling the window down.

“Patience is a virtue, Heather.” Veronica replied and Heather glared at her, blaring the car horn a few more times, but Veronica remained patient. Heather glared at Veronica who didn’t show any signs of giving in, so she let out a huff and leaned back in her seat.

Satisfied, Veronica got up from her porch step and went inside Heather’s cars. “Now that wasn’t so hard now, was it?” In a form of payback, Heather started driving really fast before slamming down on the breaks, making Veronica surge forward.

Luckily Veronica was quick to react, placing her hands on the dashboard before she could get hit. “My deadline is on the twelfth, don’t try to shorten it.” Veronica said while Heather shrugged with a smug look on her face. “Should’ve put your seatbelt on then.” 

Veronica did just that as Heather started driving at a normal speed before taking her phone and turning it on with her fingerprint and handing it to Veronica.

“Pick a song.” Veronica opened Heather’s music and scrolled through it, trying to find a good one to play. “Shouldn’t I pick one from my phone?” Despite saying that, Veronica chose a song and handed Heather her phone back.

“I’m the one driving here, you’re contributing nothing. You can pick a song from your phone when we get back cause you’re gonna be the one driving.” 

“I’m dying though.”

“But you’re still breathing right now and you’re doing nothing, so you’re useless.” Deciding to ignore that, Veronica took out her phone to look at Heather’s bucket list again.

“Since we’re heading all the way to Columbus, we can just cross out the road trip part.” Heather said, her eyes remaining on the road while Veronica hummed in reply.

“No, we can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because it says ‘road trip without an exact location’ and we have an exact location in mind right now. It won’t count.”

“Ugh, you and your technicalities.” Heather groaned.

“It’s your bucket list. If we’re going to do it, we’re going to do it right.” Heather glanced over to Veronica who was now scrolling through her phone, trying to analyze her and figure out what she was thinking, but alas, the girl continued to remain a mystery to Heather.

They were a little bit away from Ohio when Veronica spoke up.

“Did you bring the blankets?” Heather furrowed her eyebrows at this and quickly looked over to Veronica before focusing on the road.

“You were supposed to bring the blankets.”

“No, you were. You can check our texts, you’ll see that you agreed to bring the blankets.”

“I am driving, so unless you really want to die early and bring me down with you, I suggest you admit that you were supposed to bring the blankets.”

“Don’t you gaslight me.” Heather gasped in offense at that, slapping Veronica’s arm. 

“I am not a gas lighter!” Heather exclaimed in an offended tone.

“Well, it feels like you’re gaslighting me now by trying to make me think that I was supposed to bring the blankets when really, it was you who was supposed to bring the blankets.”

“Why in the world would I agree to drive first, pay for everything we’ll eventually eat and bring the blankets?”

“You don’t trust me enough to drive your Porsche, but you’ll be tired later so that’ll be the only time you let me. It’s your turn to pay and you even offered cause you were kind enough to call me poor and you refused to even go near my ‘disgusting’ polyester blanket so you said you’d just bring your ‘much better’ hundred percent cotton blankets.”

Heather stayed silent for a bit, slowly remembering the face time she had with Veronica the day before about the details of their food trip. She cleared her throat and continued driving while Veronica let out a sigh.

“Let’s just go to some department store and buy one.”

“You’re willing to buy a blanket from the mall but you can’t even stand the idea of sitting on my blanket?”

“At least this one will be new and we don’t exactly have a choice right now, unless you want to sit on the ground?”

And that’s how Veronica and Heather ended up making a pit stop at the nearest Ikea they could find. Heather would not stop complaining about how much walking they were doing and Veronica had to remind her that they were going to do more walking at the food truck festival.

“Heather, get up.” Veronica said as she stared down at Heather who decided to fall onto the nearest display bed there was.

“I am up.” Heather said in a whiney voice.

“No, I meant physically get up, you’re gonna get both of us in trouble.” Veronica looked around to see if anyone was coming to tell them off, but everyone mostly minded their own business.

“My feet aren’t on the bed so it’s fine, just leave me here until you find a good blanket.” Heather said with a lazy wave of her hand.

“I’m surprised that you’re trusting me in deciding what material the blanket is gonna be after you put up such a fight when I suggested taking the first blanket we saw when walking in here.” Heather thought for a moment before groaning.

“Alright, fine, just give me a minute.” Veronica sighed, crossing her arms as she looked around. “You can sit down, you know. Sitting on ikea furniture won’t be anything seeing as we’re literally gonna go streaking at some point.” 

Taking a moment to think about it first, Veronica relented and sat down on the bed Heather was laying in. Seeing the opportunity, Heather raised her legs and rested them on Veronica’s lap, prompting an unimpressed look from her.

“What? It’s not on the furniture, is it?” 

“Would you like a foot massage while we’re here?” Veronica asked while Heather let out a hum, pretending to think about it. “No thanks, I don’t think the people in this Ikea are worthy enough to see my feet.” 

“Oh, I’m sure there’s someone in here who’d be more than appreciative to see someone’s feet out in public instead of on the internet.” Heather let out a disgusted scoff at that.

“So are we just gonna skip the food truck festival and hang out in Ikea or are we actually gonna look for a blanket and be on our way?” Veronica decided to ignore the groan that came out of Heather.

“I don’t want to get up, my feet are tired. Carry me.” Heather raised her arms towards Veronica who sighed before lifting Heather’s legs off her and getting up. Leaning down, Veronica’s arm went to support Heather’s back while the other hooked itself under her knees, lifting Heather up with a light grunt.

“If you drop me, you won’t have to worry about dying on the twelfth.” Heather said as she hooked her arms around Veronica’s neck for extra support.

“Of course, my queen.” Veronica said in a dull tone which made Heather let out a snort. Some people made glances at them, but they were mostly unbothered.

“Make a single heavy comment and I will spit on your face.” 

“Oh please do. Would you like to use me as a stepping stool as well? I’d be honored to have you step on me.”

“Okay, don’t make it weird.” 

Veronica stood in front of the line of blankets, moving forward whenever Heather pointed to one that she liked. Soon enough, Veronica’s arms were getting tired, but Heather demanded she held through for a few more minutes.

“Stop whining, I’m not that heavy.”

“You’re only saying that because you’ve never carried yourself before.”

“Oh please, I carry myself beautifully.” 

It was then that Veronica felt her arms start to give out so she turned around and walked away even though Heather finally found a blanket that she actually liked.

“Hey, Veronica! I wasn’t done, go back!” Heather said in protest, quickly latching onto Veronica’s neck again while the girl sped walked over to the nearest display bed before dropping her onto it.

“Veronica!” Heather exclaimed, sitting up as she watched Veronica walk over to the other side before letting herself fall onto the bed next to her. “Get up, I finally found a blanket.” 

“You carry me this time.” Veronica said, her voice muffled seeing as her face was buried into one of the pillows. “You’re heavier than me, I’d get crushed if I tried to carry you.”

“Tough shit then, I’m staying here.”

“I thought you didn’t like laying on the furniture cause it might get us in trouble?”

“You don’t get to pull that card when you just made me do rounds in this huge ass store while I carried you.”

“Ugh, fine. I’ll come back for you when I’m done.”

“I won’t go anywhere.”

True to her word, Veronica didn’t move an inch when Heather came back after buying their blankets. After that, they finally headed out of Ikea and continued on to their trip to Columbus. 

Even though they were stuck in the car for another two hours, Heather and Veronica found a way to entertain themselves through little things like asking each other questions.

“Are you a virgin?” Heather asked as she leaned back in her seat since the red light just came on.

“I may be a loner, but I’m still a teenager.”

“...So is that a yes, or?”

“No, I’m not a virgin.” This piqued Heather’s interest.

“No shit, who was it?”

“You remember that transfer student from junior year?” Heather took a second to try and remember when a light bulb lit up in her head. Once she realized who Veronica was talking about, her expression quickly shifted into a grimace.

“The school shooter? Really?”

“He was not a school shooter.”

“Well what else was he hiding under his trench coat besides an MP5?” 

“He was a nice guy, okay? Shame he moved away though.  
They also passed the time by playing silly games when finding a topic for conversation became difficult.

“I spy with my little eye something made out of metal.”

“Oh, I wonder what that could be. Maybe it’s the hundred of cars around us right now.”

“Don’t be overdramatic, there’s probably a few dozen at most.”

“Shut the fuck up, Veronica.”

But soon enough, they did make it to the food truck festival. There was a stage where live bands would play songs for entertainment while food trucks surrounded the venue, a large space of grass in the middle of it all for people to sit as they eat and enjoy the music.

“What do you want to get first?” Veronica asked as they looked at the dozens of food trucks around them.

“I want to try the crepes, they look good.” Heather said, grabbing Veronica’s wrist and pulling her towards the direction of the crepe food truck but was pulled back when Veronica didn’t move from her spot.

“You really want to start with dessert?” 

“Yeah, why not? They’ll end up in our stomach either way, now come on.” Heather started walking to the crepe food truck when she looked back to see Veronica in the same spot, setting up their blankets.

“Hey, come on.” Heather said, walking back to Veronica.

“It’s alright, we should set up anyway since we won’t have a spot later.” Veronica said which made a slight frown appear on Heather’s face.

“Alright… Just tell me your order and I’ll bring it back.”

“That’s okay, I don’t need a crepe.” 

“It’s a food trip, what do you mean you don’t want a crepe?”

“I don’t like sweet things.” 

Heather felt her heart skip a beat with the way Veronica said that, her eyes staring right into hers. Subconsciously, she bit the corner of her lip as she looked down, hand rubbing at her arm to look preoccupied.

“You could’ve just said that from the start.” Veronica hummed in reply while Heather let out a sigh, running her hand through her hair as she looked around.

“Come on, that grilled cheese truck is calling my name.” Heather reached down to grab Veronica’s wrist again as she pulled her off.

Though it seems that she missed as her hand slipped into Veronica’s. Both girls noticed this, but neither made a move to fix that mistake. To Heather’s surprise though, Veronica adjusted her hand so she could interlace her fingers with hers.

Even when Heather was walking in front of Veronica, she still felt the need to cover her face, ducking her head as she bit her lip to hide her smile, squeezing Veronica’s hand ever so slightly.

When she looked back to the girl, she felt her heart warm when her eyes immediately met Veronica’s. There was a look on the other girl’s face that neither Heather or Veronica could explain, but it made both of them feel good.

The day ended with both girls eating more than they could chew. They packed up their stuff and headed back to Heather’s car with Veronica behind the steering wheel this time.

Both girls were too tired to speak, the soft music from Veronica’s phone filling the air. They were stuck in traffic, both girls staring straight ahead and waiting for the cars in front of them to move.

Heather slowly lifted her hand and placed it on top of Veronica’s hand which was on the gear stick. Veronica then slowly turned her hand so it was facing up, both girls lacing their fingers together like they did for most of the festival.

Heather let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding while Veronica’s grip on the steering wheel tightened ever so slightly. No words were needed to be said in that moment because that simple action already spoke volumes to them. 

Even when Veronica had to let go to shift gears, she always made sure to hold Heather’s hand again right after, even when Heather did eventually fall asleep.

Veronica lightly nudged Heather’s shoulder when she finally arrived in front of the girl’s house. Even with the little fight Heather put up in her sleepy state, Veronica managed to convince her that she’d be fine walking the few blocks to her house.

Veronica stared at her hand as she walked back to her house, letting out a sigh as a bit of fog came out due to the cold air, taking out her phone and going over to her notes so she could cross out one item on Heather’s bucket list.

Five more to go with twenty-four days left to finish the rest of them.


	7. The Rush

Veronica stared at the ceiling, finding herself in a place she was familiar with, letting her thoughts roam as she focused on nothing. It was Christmas Eve, but she couldn’t really feel the hype of the holidays. It felt like just another day for her, just with extra food and a little more joy and cheer from her family.

Her house was all decorated, the Christmas lights glowing from outside with snowflakes falling from the sky. It wasn’t that cold, but maybe that was just because of Veronica’s blanket, but she did feel warmer than usual.

It was weird, knowing that this was going to be her last Christmas. The last time she was going to be celebrating with her family and the last time she was ever gonna be able to feel the holiday season. It sent a wave of something over Veronica, a wave that made her whole body relax.

Relax because she was going to die and relax because putting up a fight wouldn’t change anything. She closed her eyes, listening to the wind whistling from outside her window, trying to make sense of everything.

The sound of her phone ringing broke her out of her thoughts, reaching over to her side desk to check the caller, unsurprised to see that the person on the other line was Heather.

“Did I wake you?” Was the first thing Heather said when Veronica picked up her phone.

“No, I was already awake.”

“I can’t sleep.”

“How come?” 

“I don’t know. I just have a lot on my mind.”

“Like what?” 

“Like how you’re going to die in nineteen days.” It was a bit silent between them. These past few weeks have been strange for both of them. Getting to know someone who was going to be gone in less than three weeks was a bit hard, especially since the company of that person was one they actually enjoyed.

But they avoided the topic, only making light jokes to hold off the conversation that would be too hard for either of them to have.

“Do you want to go out for a walk?” Veronica asked as Heather sat up, looking over to the clock on the wall that read ten pm.

“Okay.” 

Both girls got out of their beds and got dressed, putting on plenty of layers to help with the cold as they left their houses, walking to the direction of the other’s home until they met in the middle.

“Where are we walking to?” Heather asked while Veronica shrugged and simply turned around, continuing to walk while Heather walked beside her, their hands slipping into each other’s hold, the warmth that came from it making the cold feel as if it was never there to begin with.

“You guys aren’t going on vacation this year?” Heather talked about it to Veronica once, how the Chandlers would always go all out for the holidays and go somewhere extravagant to celebrate.

“No. I told them that I didn’t want to go anywhere this year.” 

“Why’s that?” 

“Because you’re here.” Heather stopped and looked up to Veronica who was already staring at her, analyzing her features and admiring how everything was kept in place despite the snow flakes littering her head.

“And I want to be here for you.” Heather squeezed Veronica’s hand, making the girl look down and stare at their hands for a second before continuing to walk.

“How about you guys? What are the Sawyers planning to do on Christmas day?” Veronica sighed at this.

“The usual. Mom will make food that we’ll be eating for the next week, dad will bust out the presents and we’ll all just mostly do our own thing until night comes and we all watch shitty Hallmark movies in the living room together.”

“Ew, why would you put yourself through that?” Heather asked while Veronica shrugged in reply.

“The fact that they’re bad is what makes them good.” 

They continued to walk in silence, not a word needed to be said as the two girls were contempt with walking hand in hand, looking around their neighborhood that was covered in soft, white snow.

“Will you be disappointed if you die and we don’t finish my bucket list?” Heather asked, causing Veronica to hum in thought.

“No, because we will finish it.” Though her heart skipped a beat with how confident Veronica said that, part of her couldn’t help but wonder why.

“How do you know.” Veronica stopped walking for a second before thinking to herself, taking a deep breath as she let go of Heather’s hand.

“Because we’re gonna cross something off right now.” Heather’s eyes widened when Veronica took off her coat before taking off her shoes.

“What are you doing?” She asked in shock, stepping back a bit when Veronica dropped her coat on the ground.

“You wanted to streak across a neighborhood, right?” 

“Wait, we’re doing that right now?” Heather asked, gasping when Veronica started removing her shirt, surging forward to stop the girl by placing her hands on hers.

“Veronica, this is our neighborhood, what if people see?” Heather said while Veronica gave her a look.

“It’s streaking, that’s part of the risk.” 

“It’s freezing out here.”

“Then we better run fast so we can put our clothes on again.” Heather stared at Veronica as if she was crazy, searching her eyes to see any indication that she was just messing around. When she realized that Veronica was being serious, she let out a laugh of disbelief, hand going up to rub at her eyes as she smiled in amusement.

“Okay, wow. We’re doing this then.” Without another thought, Heather started taking off her coat.

With each piece of clothing that was stripped, goosebumps started forming on the girls’ skin from the cold air. When they were fully nude for the world, they looked at the empty street in front of them, lit by the streetlights.

“Let’s get this over with, before we get hypothermia.” Heather said, trying to stop herself from shaking as she wrapped her arms around herself to cover her breasts while also keeping herself warm.

“That’s an exaggeration.” Heather rolled her eyes as she looked off to the street.

“We’re doing one loop around the neighborhood, would that be okay?” Veronica asked and Heather quickly nodded, psyching her up as she tried to process the fact that she was going to streak around her neighborhood in winter.

“I’ll race you.” 

“Wait, it’s dangerous to-” Veronica couldn’t even finish her when Heather started sprinting off.

Sighing, Veronica quickly caught up with Heather by running as well, ignoring her own warning about the dangers of running like this. She easily caught up with Heather, even going as far as running past her.

It was a race after all.

Veronica heard a loud yelp behind her and she quickly stopped, turning around to see Heather on the ground, gripping her head. Not even giving it a second thought, Veronica turned back and ran towards Heather, crouching down and starting to help the girl up.

“Are you o-”

Heather took this chance to shove a bunch of snow in Veronica’s face, making her fall back, landing on her butt. Heather cackled loudly, quickly getting up and running off, determined to win this race.

Veronica wiped her face and quickly got up, running after Heather who squealed when she felt arms around her waist, lifting her up and spinning her around. When she was placed back down, she gasped when she saw Veronica running in front of the ground.

“That’s cheating!” She exclaimed as she ran after Veronica who continued running.

When Heather got close behind the girl, she quickly jumped on the girls back, wrapping her arms around her neck with her legs around her waist.

“And you say I’m a cheater.” Veronica said with a grunt.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Taking a deep breath, Veronica ducked and started spinning around really quickly, closing her eyes while Heather let out a light scream, holding on tighter to Veronica.

“Veronica, stop it! I will actually throw up.” She said.

Slowing down since she was also getting dizzy, Veronica stumbled around while Heather quickly got down, the two girls struggling to keep their footing as they gripped their heads.

“Oh, you’re such an asshole.” Heather said with a grown.

Veronica gripped the bridge of her nose with her fingers, trying to calm the headache that came from the spinning. 

“Holy shit, it’s cold as fuck.” Heather said when a gust of wind hit her nude body. “Let’s finish this without the whole race thing.” Veronica nodded in agreement.

“Alright, come on.” Veronica said as she started running while Heather followed, the two girls running next to each other. Feeling the wind clash against their skin, the pavement on their bare feet, their hearts pumping against their ribcage with the fear of being seen made the whole experience feel incredible.

Heather extended her hand to Veronica who looked at her then down to her hand before quickly grasping onto it. Heather’s heart grew warm and the cold became nothing against how she felt in that moment. Watching the snowflakes fall from the star ridden sky, the houses passing by her covered in snow.

She turned to Veronica who was staring straight ahead, a bit of fog coming out of her mouth from how cold it was with each breath that she took. She looked so focused, like she was determined to make it back and cross this item off. It warmed her heart, how she was doing all of this for a bucket list that wasn’t even hers. Her heart also dropped, remembering that this girl was going to be gone in a few weeks.

Even so, it made all of this more worth it. If Veronica actually wanted to finish this bucket list with her, then they were going to finish that damn bucket list. Squeezing her hand tighter, she continued running as she pictured her and Veronica doing this in less morbid circumstances, feeling the warmth grow inside her again as she dreamed of a reality where her and Veronica could do things like these without the fear of death.

This girl snuck up on her out of nowhere and Heather’s life has been off the rails ever since. But she ruined her normal life in the best way possible. Maybe all of it was a lie, because despite being the queen of Westerberg and the most feared and adored girl in their school for the past six years, this was the only time Heather felt truly happy and alive.

Veronica turned her head to look at Heather when the girl started laughing. No longer focusing on the light aching of her feet and the cold air against her skin, Veronica’s attention was fully placed on Heather’s laugh and the look of absolute bliss on her face.

Living a life that was so dull made Veronica blind to the colors and wonder the world had to offer because she thought she'd already seen what the world had to offer her, and it didn’t leave her impressed.

But never in her seventeen years of living has she seen anyone look so happy from something as simple as running, something as simple as living before. It made her heart ache with longing, wondering what it was like to feel that way.

Though part of her felt proud, knowing that she took part in making that happen. It made her feel good about herself, being part of the reason as to why Heather looked so happy. 

After a while, Veronica stopped becoming proud of the things she accomplished, all of it being exactly the same without anything to expect or be surprised about. But for the first time in a very long time, Veronica became proud and it was all because of the girl right next to her.

Heather’s been surprising Veronica more and more lately.

“There’s our clothes!” Heather said, the two picking up their speed as they stopped at where their clothes were, taking a moment to catch their breaths from their run.

“Holy shit, that felt amazing!” Heather exclaimed, jumping up and down happily as she placed her hands on Veronica’s shoulder for support, a huge smile beaming across her face.

“God, I forgot how fun it was to just let go like that.” Heather said, bits of laughter slipping out of her mouth while Veronica stared at her, not wanting the night to end.

“I feel so stupid about being afraid now earlier, ugh we should do this again and-”

“Heather?”

Heather yelped when a light flashed on the two of them. Veronica was quick to think, quickly grabbing her jacket that was on the ground before wrapping it around Heather who was still nude, blocking her from the person’s sight just in case.

“Fucking hell, Heather! What are you doing here!” Heather exclaimed, holding Veronica’s jacket around her tightly as she stared in shock and slight embarrassment at the girl in front of them.

“Um, this is my house? And is that… Veronica?” Heather looked at the house before realizing that it was, in fact, Heather Duke’s house as she let out a light groan, leaning her head on Veronica’s shoulder.

“Wait, are you two…” Duke’s eyes landed on the clothes on the ground, only now realizing that Veronica was standing there out in the cold naked.

“Oh my god, I swear, if you two are fucking on my-”

“Shut up, Heather! Just get back inside and I better not hear a word of this from you or Heather!” Heather Duke didn’t hesitate to go back inside after that.

“Ugh, I’m sorry about that, I didn’t realize this was Heather’s house.” Heather said with a sigh until she realized that Veronica was still standing there bare.

“Oh shit, you must be freezing, here take your-”

“Spend Christmas with me.” Heather paused, looking up at Veronica with shocked eyes.

“Really?” She asked, not sure if she heard right, but the nod Veronica gave in confirmation showed her that what she heard was real.

“...Yes.”


	8. An Actual Merry Christmas

When Mrs. Sawyer found out that the Chandlers were going to spend Christmas last minute with them, she went into a frenzy. She didn’t even get the chance to greet her family a merry Christmas properly because she was so hung up on getting things to become perfect.

The Chandlers were also shocked when their daughter suddenly told them they were going to be spending Christmas with the Sawyers after the fuss she put up when she went over there for the barbecue a month ago. 

It was very busy in the Sawyer household with Lauren cleaning up the whole place even though Veronica and Bill tried to convince her it was fine, Bill setting up the fireplace and putting on a movie on the tv and Veronica finishing up a few side dishes that her mother was too panicked to finish.

By the time the doorbell rang, Lauren quickly scolded her husband, telling him to put on something other than a t-shirt and shorts while she quickly headed to the door, flattening her clothes and fixing her hair on the way.

“Jennifer, George! Merry Christmas! Oh, it is so nice to see you two again.” Lauren said with a bright smile, giving the two hugs before letting them enter, the two greeting the woman as well. “I was delighted when Veronica told me you guys were coming over.” Veronica ignored the lie and continued to tend to the cranberry sauce. 

“I was shocked when Heather told us.” Jennifer said as they took off their jackets and gave it to Lauren who quickly put it in a closet.

Uh, yeah, Veronica invited me.” Heather said awkwardly, glancing over to the kitchen to see Veronica still continuing to set up.

“Oh, I forgot you two were friends again. Can you believe they’re going on a trip all by themselves? It feels like yesterday Veronica was crying for me asking me not to leave her on her first day of school.” Lauren reminisced while Jennifer smiled in agreement.

“Say, how did you two start talking again?” George asked, the Adults turning to Heather who stammered a bit, not knowing what to say since she couldn’t exactly say that she was helping Veronica out because she was dying.

“We were partnered for a project together and we started hanging out after that.” Veronica cut in, noticing Heather’s struggle as she walked into the living room.

“Help me with the turkey, will you?” Veronica asked and Heather glanced over to the parents before quickly nodding and following Veronica into the kitchen, leaving the adults to talk.

“What do you need help with.” Heather said, looking around while Veronica leaned against the counter.

“Nothing, you just looked like you were about to combust if I didn’t step in.” 

“If you couldn’t tell already, I’m not exactly the friend parents want their kids to hang out with.”

“Come on, my parents love you.” Veronica said, reaching out to Heather who let out a scoff, but took Veronica’s hand anyway, fiddling with it lightly.

“Maybe when we were kids, sure.” Veronica hummed in thought for a second before pushing herself off the counter and going back to fixing the food.

“Well, I like you.” The amount of times Heather has heard those words from other people is crazy. People who barely knew her, people who were basically strangers left and right telling her how much they adored her. All of their words of praise jumped off her with no effect on her whatsoever. 

But hearing something so simple come from Veronica made her whole day brighten. With a sigh, Heather walked over to Veronica and wrapped her arms around her, resting her head on her shoulder as she watched Veronica continue to finish the food, making little comments here and there.

“Alright, time for food!” Lauren said after helping the girls finish plating the meals. When everyone sat down, the Chandlers on one side of the table and the Sawyers on the other, everyone relaxed as the feeling of the holidays washed over them.

“Let’s say grace.” Bill, who was now in pants and a Christmas jumper, said and every made a move to join their hands together.

“Heather, why don’t you lead?” Jennifer asked and she made a move to protest, but the feeling of all eyes on her made her decide otherwise. With a sigh, she nodded as everyone closed their eyes, bowing their heads while Heather kept her eyes open and her head up, trying to think about what to say.

To her surprise, Veronica also kept her head up and her eyes open, her stare intense yet warm. Veronica looked at her the same way she’s been looking at her since they started hanging out again.

Heather didn’t even have to worry about what to say anymore because everything she was thankful for all just came out of her mouth with ease.

“Thank you to… God for the food that we have here today.” Heather looked to Veronica who merely shrugged at her statement, that being enough reassurance for Heather to continue.

“Thank you for the Sawyers for inviting us to their home and being kind enough to let us celebrate this holiday with them…” Giving Veronica one last look, Heather took a deep breath before continuing.

“Let us take the time to appreciate the reason why we’re here on Earth right now, alive, healthy and fortunate enough to be in a situation where we get to enjoy a holiday like this. Just remember that life can be… Shorter than we may expect it to be and we shouldn’t take advantage of the little moments like these because we never know when we get to experience them again and…”

Heather took a sharp breath, feeling the stinging in her eyes while Veronica continued to stare at her, nodding at her as if silently telling her that it was okay. Seeing her right there in front of her made Heather calm down a bit, taking her own advice and letting go of her fear of the future by just enjoying the fact that Veronica was still sitting there in front of her, alive and well.

“Remember to take care of the memories we create today because it’s all we have. Yeah…” When Heather made no sign to continue, the adults, unaware of the added tension in the room, said Amen and started eating their food. Heather wiped at her eyes, ducking her head so no one could see, but when she felt a hand take hers under the table, she decided to ignore how heavy her heart was in that moment and just be.

“So, Veronica, Heather, where do you two plan on going on your trip?” Lauren asked as they all ate.

“Oh, nowhere specific, you know? Just… Going wherever, I guess.” Heather replied, not really knowing what to say since she was used to ignoring and downright disrespecting her friends’ parents, but this time, she actually wanted to try and not be a bitch.

“How come you two stopped talking anyway, you two were such good friends when you were kids.” Bill asked while Veronica shrugged in reply.

“We grew apart once we grew up just like everyone who was friends in kindergarten and middle school.”

“Aw, that’s a shame. Well at least you two are reunited again. Now you can make up for lost time.” The two girls locked eyes in that moment and even though they’ve been spending everyday talking to each other and hanging out, it still feels like there’s so much they needed to do.

They continued the day doing little things to pass the time. Playing silly family games, watching movies, eating more food and talking until the adults settled for drinking in the backyard, leaving Veronica and Heather alone.

“Here.” Veronica said as she sat down on the couch next to Heather who was staring at the fireplace in front of them.  
“What is it?” Heather asked, taking the mug Veronica handed to her as she looked at it’s contents. 

“It’s eggnog. It’s spiked too, in case you were wondering.” Veronica said as she took a sip of her hot chocolate and took a sip from it.

“Ugh, thank god. I wish you would’ve brought this to me earlier. You know how hard it was to watch our dads play Just Dance sober?” Heather asked as she drank her drink as well.

“Well, at least he didn’t fall and break the table this time.” Veronica said while Heather let out a sigh.

“Trying to be nice is draining as shit.”

“You were trying?” Heather let out a scoff and lightly slapped Veronica’s arm.

“Yes, I was trying.”

“Oh yes, because excusing yourself from the room when your mom tripped while playing Wii Sports to laugh was very nice.” Heather let out a laugh at the memory as she set her drink down onto the coffee table.

“At least I had the decency to not laugh in her face.” She said before sighing and leaning against Veronica who put her drink down as well before wrapping her arms around Heather who leaned her head against her chest.

“Sorry I didn’t get you a gift.” Veronica said while Heather shrugged while shaking her head.

“It’s whatever, I didn’t get you a gift either, we can both be terrible friends together.”  
They were back in those moments where no words needed to be said. The sound of the fire crackling in front of them with the faint laughter in the backyard, Veronica and Heather could both say that this was the first time they felt like they fit in the world. Like this was where they were supposed to be.

“I’m really glad you invited me to spend Christmas with you.” Heather said, looking up to Veronica who looked down at her.

“And I’m glad you said yes.” Heather smiled at that, feeling both pain and warmth as she leaned her head back against Veronica, not needing the fire or any blanket at all.

“Merry Christmas Veronica.” Veronica replied by pulling Heather closer to her and holding her tighter against her.


	9. Wish We Could Come Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to remove the snake bit in the bucket list because that really stumped me and it felt really out of place with the whole story. I didn't add anything extra though, I just changed the dialogue when Heather showed Veronica her bucket list, but other than that, things are still the same

After nearly an hour of conversation, Veronica managed to convince Heather that taking her Porsche for this road trip would be a bad idea and that they should just take her dad’s truck instead even if it wasn’t as sleek as her car.

They were going to be crossing two items in this one trip. After exploring wherever the roads take them, Heather and Veronica will be able to cross the road trip off of Heather’s list, then after, they’re going straight to hiking on New Year’s Eve. They still had to figure out how they were going to do the fireworks, but they’ll get there eventually.

“So, where to first?” Heather asked, looking over to Veronica who was in the driver’s seat.

“That defeats the purpose of no exact location.” 

“Yeah, then where are we supposed to go?” Veronica thought to herself for a moment before shrugging.

“I don’t know, wherever I guess.” Veronica continued driving as the two talked about whatever was on their mind.

“There’s a fork in the road. Left or right?” Veronica asked, making Heather hum to herself.

“Right is always right, so let's go left.” Veronica turned left, focusing on the road while Heather looked out the window, watching the trees and the sky and taking note of the few cars that were driving alongside them.

It was odd, knowing that in sixteen days, her life was about to change drastically once more. Looking at her made it feel unreal. Veronica was right there beside her, healthy and breathing without any indication that showed that she was dying. Yet the fact of Veronica dying was no longer a question.

Going on a road trip like this with someone she considered very close to her felt special, but it also felt horrible because this was the only time they were going to be able to do this. 

“Do you think that if we started hanging out again sooner, you wouldn’t have gotten that letter?” Heather asked, not wanting to keep her thoughts to herself since it seemed like something she should share with Veronica.

“Who knows. Maybe? Not like we can ask the person who sent it. There’s no return address and honestly… I don’t know if I want to know.” Heather looked to Veronica who had an unreadable expression on her face, just like always.

“Why’s that?”

“Well, if we found out that all of this could’ve been avoided by getting close again sooner, we would wish for that to happen. If that happens, then everything that’s happened in the past month wouldn’t have happened, and I’m okay with where we are right now.” Heather looked at Veronica who kept her eyes on the road before sighing and taking her hand.

“For a girl who barely speaks, you sure know exactly what to say.” Heather said, though the statement wasn’t necessarily negative.

As they continued to drive, Heather’s mind continued to wander. She made little comments about the places they’ve passed, tiny arguments sparking when Heather suggested looking at Google Maps just to see where they were exactly, jokes that left her unable to control her laughter, but everything remained the same whenever she looked at Veronica who always kept her eyes on the road.

“How come you're not afraid?” Heather asked which made Veronica let out a hum in question.

“Afraid of what?” 

“You know… Dying?” Heather looked at Veronica’s face, trying to see what reaction she had to the question and she wondered why Veronica always looked like she was hiding something that was already out in the open.

“Who said I wasn’t afraid?”

“Well, are you?”

“No.” Heather didn’t know what she expected, but hearing Veronica say that out loud shocked her. 

“How come?”

“I don’t know. It’s not something I’ve ever really been afraid of. Death’s always been a part of life, I don’t think of it as something to fear.” 

“Then how do you see it?” 

Veronica had to think to herself for a moment to figure out how she was going to answer that question, or if she even had an answer at all. For years, she’s been playing with death out of the curiosity of what would happen, but she never took it far enough because she didn’t want to take death into her own hands.

Though she waited for death, she didn’t want to catch it. In a sense, she wanted death to come to her. The question as to why she felt that way remained unanswered as she still searched for it. For death was sort of like a means to an end, but one she didn’t want to take for herself.

“Veronica?” Heather asked, slightly concerned if she had asked something too personal when Veronica zoned out after hearing her question. But calling out her name seemed to take her out of her own mind as the focus came back in Veronica’s eyes.

Looking at the road, Veronica noticed a sign ahead showing directions to near locations and entertainment places. Casinos, hotels, resorts, all of which seemed unimportant to Veronica until one place stood out in her mind.

“Cedar Cove sounds like a nice place. Do you want to check it out?” Veronica asked Heather who searched her eyes, trying to find the thing that bothered Veronica so much that she got so deep into her thoughts.

She hated not being able to see into Veronica’s mind. They only had a short amount of time with each other left before Veronica would be gone and she wanted to know everything about the girl. Heather wanted to be the one person who could say she really knew Veronica Sawyer. 

“I’ve never heard of that place before, but it sounds…” Heather didn’t want to be rude by saying what was on her mind. Veronica seemed to know what she was thinking as a small smile appeared on her face.

Heather didn’t know if she should be flattered or irritated that Veronica could read her so easily.

“If it’s too boring, we can go somewhere else. Isn’t that the point of a road trip?” Heather wondered how Veronica was so calm and indifferent about everything that’s happening to her. How she’s just going through her days like any other day.

“Okay. Let’s go to Caesar Cave.” Heather said with slight distaste, leaning back into her seat while Veronica reached over and poked her on the cheek. This action shocked Heather since she was usually the one who poked and prodded Veronica to bother her. 

“What was that for?” Heather asked, hand going up to her cheek, still shocked even though it was a very tiny action.

“It’s Cedar Cove, you messed up on purpose.” Veronica said and Heather frowned, reaching over to poke Veronica back. Veronica grabbed her hand before she could and put it down, but she didn’t make any move to let go.

Heather let out a huff at that, but decided to just look down and start fiddling with Veronica’s hand to keep herself occupied until she got to Cedar Cove. She tried getting her phone to look the place up to see if they would just be wasting their time, but Veronica told her not to, saying it would ruin the experience.

It was nice to see Veronica actually interested in something though, even if Heather wasn’t exactly fond with the idea of going to Cedar Cove. Though she did like the thought of going wherever life took them, Cedar Cove just sounded like a regular suburban town, just like their hometown

When they arrived, they saw many people setting up booths and such around the streets along with lights and other decorations. It was a fairly small town, just a bit smaller than Sherwood. The people all conversed with each other and it seemed like the type of town where everyone knew everyone.

“What do you think now?” Veronica asked as she tried to look for a place to park. Heather watched the people laugh with each other as they continued decorating the down and weirdly enough, she could feel how homey this place was.

Sherwood was small, but they never did anything like this there. Sure, neighborhood barbecues were something, but it was just an excuse for the adults to brag and for the kids to get free food. This town just seemed so united and Heather couldn’t help but wonder what Sherwood would be like if they were like this. Then again, all the people there looked so kind and warm. 

Heather only likes a few people in Sherwood, she doesn’t know if she wants to be friends with every single person there. As that thought entered her mind, her head turned to Veronica, eyes trained on the girl as she analyzed her features.

In the short time they’ve become friends, Heather can’t help but call the girl her closest friend. Of course there was something more, at least to her there was, but she didn’t want to think about that now. Instead, she welcomed the thoughts of all the moments she’s shared so far with Veronica. Late night talks over the phone, streaking, spending Christmas together, the food trip.

They’ve done so much together and Heather feels cheated. There’s still so much things she wants to do with Veronica and it’s unfair that they only have a short amount of time left. Though she decides not to fret. Each second she spends worrying about the upcoming days, she wastes instead of enjoying the time with Veronica.

So she sits there and takes her all in. Looking at the face in front of her as much as she can before she never gets to see it again. Heather would damn herself to hell if she ever forgot Veronica Sawyer’s face, but she could never forget the face of the girl who changed her life.

“You’re staring.” Veronica said, feeling Heather’s eyes on her as she continued to find a spot for parking. A small smile appeared on Heather’s face as she shrugged, propping her leg up and resting her arms and chin onto it to get more comfortable.

“I know.” She said and Veronica couldn’t help but furrow her eyes a bit at that. “You gonna tell me why?” Veronica asked, finally finding a spot and parking the car. “I don’t know. I just feel like looking at you.” Veronica awkwardly turned her head to Heather, not knowing what to feel about the warmth in her heart.

Though the smile on Heather’s face was small, Veronica can’t help but wish she could see it more. It fascinated her, how Heather came from being such a cold and rude person in her eyes to one of the most enjoyable people to be around. She never really cared about this girl once they drifted apart, she barely cared about anyone, not even herself.

But looking at her now, Veronica realizes that she might just care about Heather Chandler.

“You never answered my question, you know.” Veronica said and Heather finally took her eyes off of the girl and looked outside the window to the small town.

“Well, let’s see how this day turns out first before I make my judgement.” Veronica merely nodded at that before the two girls exited the car. 

Heather breathed in the smell of saltwater as she turned to the beach that was on the edge of the town. Though her hopes for this town weren’t that high, she at least liked the thought of there being a beach nearby. Call her basic, but her favorite season was always going to be summer. Too bad they can’t really enjoy it cause no way she was going swimming in this weather.

“What can we even do here?” Heather asked as her and Veronica started walking around, taking in all the buildings and the people. It was obvious that they were just tourists since they looked way out of their element. 

“I don’t know. Let’s ask around, the locals seem like the type of people to know everything about this place.” Veronica said, reaching her hand out to Heather who didn’t even think twice about holding onto it as they walked into the town.

It was bustling with people setting up so many things for the town and Heather wondered what exactly they were celebrating. While walking, Veronica caught the eye of a girl who was putting up lights with the help of a boy. “They look friendly.” Veronica said and Heather shrugged, following Veronica over to the girl.

“Hey!” The girl said in a friendly tone when she saw Veronica and Heather approach. “Hi.” Was all Veronica could say, not really being the best person when it came to conversations with new people.

“Are you guys tourists?” The girl asked and Heather let out a chuckle. “Is it that obvious?” A boy behind the girl shook his head as he tied the lights around the pole.

“Normally, no. But everyone here knows a new face when they see one. Right now, we see two though.” They seemed charming, Heather thought. If this was Sherwood, new faces would be the subject of gossip within families for two weeks, but the people here didn’t seem to care. They were more welcoming than anything, really.

“I’m Wendy. This is my brother, Curtis.” Wendy extended her hand to the two and Veronica shook it, followed by Heather. “I’m Heather, this is Veronica.” She said, gesturing to the girl next to her.

“We wanted to know if there are places here we could just hang out in. Preferably some place with food.” Veronica said and the girl’s face seemed to light up at that.

“Ooh, there’s a lot. What kind of food do you guys feel like eating?” The girl asked, smiling up at Veronica who thought to herself for a minute before turning to Heather and giving her a look, silently asking for her input. 

“Something heavy. Probably a burger place or something.” Heather said and Wendy nodded, though her eyes were still on Veronica with a bright smile on her face which made Heather stare at her warily.

“There’s one nearby, right down the block. Maybe I could show you around town. There’s a lot of beautiful sights to see here, I’d be more than happy to show you them.” Okay. Heather understands now. With a roll of her eyes, she turned to Veronica who seemed to be clueless to what was going on. 

When Veronica opened her mouth to agree, not seeing anything wrong with the situation, Heather cleared her throat and grabbed Veronica’s arm, hugging it against her and bringing her body close to the girl’s, resting her chin on her shoulder, giving Wendy the coldest smile she could give.

“I’m sure we could find it on our own. It’ll also give us the chance to explore. Besides, we wouldn’t want to interrupt your work, wouldn’t we now, Ronnie?” Heather said, emphasizing the pronouns she used before she turned her head to Veronica, sending her a sweet smile as she batted her eyelashes at her. This only confused Veronica.

“Uh, I guess?” Veronica asked, not really understanding why Heather was acting that way as she turned back to Wendy whose face was red from embarrassment. 

“Oh, yeah. Well, I hope you two enjoy your time here.” Heather smiled at Wendy. The girl was now turned around and her brother seemed to be on the verge of dying from his laughter. Heather decided to play nice and not laugh along by dragging Veronica away/

“What did I just witness?” Veronica asked as she walked next to Heather who seemed very proud of herself. “Oh, nothing. I’m just glad we found a place to eat. I’m starving.” Veronica furrowed her eyes when Heather walked ahead of her, an extra skip in her step. Well, she seemed happy, so Veronica brushed it off and caught up with her, connecting their hands once more as they tried to find the burger place Wendy was talking about.

After eating, they decided to explore more. They found out that the town was holding a festival for a woman named Nana Jones, a ninety-seven year old woman who happened to be the oldest woman in Cedar Cove. It was amazing to see this town put in so much effort to celebrate one person and Heather found that this town really was as charming as it first seemed. 

Cedar Cove looked absolutely beautiful at night. With all the lights set up along the streets, the town looked magical and Heather couldn’t help but feel stupid for thinking that this town was anything but boring in the first place. The people were so nice and all the booths were so creative and fun.

“There’s a Takoyaki booth and apparently someone’s giving out brownie samples.” Heather said as she continued looking around in wonder. Veronica couldn’t help but smile at this, liking how much Heather was enjoying herself. “Where do you want to go first?” 

“Let’s go to the Takoyaki booth. Seeing as you hate sweet things so much, but I still don’t believe that cause you’re hanging out with me.” Heather said jokingly, laughing slightly at her own joke while Veronica merely thought to herself, letting out a hum.

“I like sweet things sometimes. But sure, you do have your moments.” Veronica said and Heather smiled to herself, moving closer to Veronica as they made their way through the streets of Cedar Cove. “You know, we should really visit here again some-” 

Heather cut herself off when she realized what she was going to say. Though the world around them was still bustling with life and energy, the mood between Heather and Veronica shifted as they focused on each other. “Maybe we can visit this place again when we get back from hiking.” Veronica said, hand reaching up to Heather’s shoulder and squeezing it comfortably. 

The night carried on and Heather and Veronica enjoyed their time listening to the live band playing in the center of the town and joining everyone when they all sang happy birthday to Nana Jones at the end of the festival. Veronica looked around, the bright lights, the wide smiles, the unity among everyone in the community, the very joy in the faces of the people around her and the warm feeling in her heart that she felt whenever she was around Heather.

Maybe this is what it meant to live.

Heather found herself sitting on the wet rocks at the shore of the beach. She wanted to be able to be close to the water without actually getting wet so she could take in the air before they left. Veronica was off buying something as a souvenir and she found herself imagining what it would be like living in a place like Cedar Cove when she grew up. 

She could imagine it perfectly in her mind. Her and her two kids, a dog, maybe a cat, a house that was small yet big enough to fit everyone, a good job, being friends with all her neighbors and… 

It seemed fruitless to think about something like that. Lifting her knees up to her chest, Heather wrapped her arms around them as she rested her chin on her knees, staring at the moon and the waves forming in the water before her. She already got a feel of life with Veronica Sawyer in it, she couldn’t imagine continuing her life without her in it. 

To her surprise, a warmth wrapped around her as a presence appeared next to her. She looked at her shoulder to see a blanket draped over her body before turning to her right to see Veronica digging through a paper bag.

“What did you get?” Heather asked, leaning over to see what was in the bag. “I got a fridge magnet for my mom, a coffee mug for my dad and…” Veronica trailed off before taking out a stuffed animal that was wearing a hoodie that said “I Love Cedar Cove!” It was all typical tourist stuff but Heather couldn’t help the smile that reached her face when Veronica handed her the stuffed animal.

“I named him Pebble, but you can change the name if you want to.” Veronica said, setting aside the bag while Heather let out a laugh, letting her legs fall as she hugged the stuffed animal close to her.

“I had a really fun time here.” Heather said as she leaned her body against Veronica who wrapped her arms around the girl. “I just wish we could come back to see it all again.” Heather said with a sigh, burying her head into the crook of Veronica’s shoulder. 

“I’ll take you back here before the twelfth.” Veronica said, holding onto Heather tighter and Heather tried her best to think about the good moments they had that day, not wanting to ruin it by bringing her negative thoughts to light. But even then, she couldn’t help the few tears that slipped past her eyes.

“I really wish you didn’t have to.” Veronica looked down at Heather and lifted her hand, wiping the tears away from the girl’s eyes before laying her head onto hers, staring into the ocean as she thought about what waited for her in the next few weeks.


End file.
